I am angry. I am upset. I am disappointed. I am hurt.

This is my thoughts about the election in America. I remember staying after night class to join the election party at school. It was very real. Everyone was watching the news and the polls. I was very impatient and felt very distracted because reality was hitting me. The map of the United States was slowly turning one by one into red states.

I came home running to catch the remaining news thinking it will end soon. There was hope for Hillary. Her campaigns were great. #imwithher. She worked hard, have experiences in the government, and was very knowledgeable if she became president. I put my faith in her and believe she was really running for the presidency because she truly cared about the people. It was around 3 in the morning when everything was official.

I was very hopeful for Hilary and felt deep sadness for her when I woke up at three in the morning to see “BREAKING NEW: NEW ELECTED-PRESIDENT TRUMP,” half asleep and tired, I said FUCK and headed back to sleep.

After waking up, and realizing what that TRUMP had won I was very upset and hurt. I cried and cried asking myself how can this happen? How can American’s vote for him? After knowing his ideology and thoughts. After seeing that he is racist, that he assaulted women and that he does not have any respect for others who do not identify with him when America pride themselves on diversity and immigrants? How can I as a person of color, women, and immigrant feel safe? Who can I trust? What will happen to my international friends? What will happen to people I love and care about? The fact that people were voting for him means that we as a country were selling our soul to the devil.

I was very concerned after seeing that Hillary has lost so many states. I did not understand the voting system and still do not. How can she win the popular vote and not the electoral vote? What does this mean?

This election left me feeling exhausted and confused. This was my first time voting ever. The process itself was confusing as it was my first time getting involved in politics. It made me thought about how complicated it would be for other people who are American citizens but cannot read like my parents. This process needs to be more clear and user-friendly.

After a week. I am starting to accept my new reality. I was closed minded. I surrounded myself with people who think like me, so I shove the other story about Trump under the carpet thinking, he can’t possibly win. I was confused as to how can this be possible? I did not want to accept him as my president. I did not want to talk about it. And knowing that Hilary was a woman and that she was white did not matter. Her hard work meant nothing. And as a person of color and woman, if Hillary cannot win, what does that mean for me? Will money be able to buy everything?

Who can I find support? On the bright side, I was lucky and grateful to find myself a community at school in my department who supported and cried along with me. They made me feel safe and loved. My two professors organized a safe space to talk about post-election feelings and made great speeches about how to heal and what this election means for us the next generation.

This election taught us that despite the “other” we have to be willing to hear their side of the story. That we are all human at the end of the day. We have to rethink and reframe our narratives. We have to find our collective values and what it means to us to take actions? To be aware of ourselves and take care of ourselves. We have to have discussions about differences, how this will impact identities and how to move conversations forward. We have to have voice, vision, and community. We have to be forward thinking and push for hope and unity.

Classmates started a social media hashtags called #howiheal which gave me hope to move forward. They gave me hope.

If this election affected you, how do you heal? How can you give support?

My last words are be hopeful and like Obama said, the sun will rise tomorrow. We will go through this together. It is on us now to make the change that we want to see.



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